Harlan Vaughn

Ah, that tempest, that maelstrom! A volcano of ferocity at high velocity. It’s not the Tori album I listen to the most (that would be Scarlet, hisTORIcally speaking), but it is and always has been my FAVORITE. So strong it my connection to this album, that if you were to cut me, I would surely bleed these songs.

When the mood strikes me about every quarter-year, I pull out Pele, set it up, and listen to it beginning to end. 

I’ll never forget the first time I heard Professional Widow. I had just gotten Choirgirl, which sorta annoyed me at first, but my reaction to Pele was instant aversion. I HATED it. Widow was the only song I remotely liked, but that’s just cuz it was so crazy. I’d never heard anyone sing that way before. I thought the rest of Pele was unlistenable, a total mess, and the subtleties of the denser second half were totally lost on me. But I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I’ll never forget it. I was riding in the back seat of my Dad’s pickup. It was before dawn and very cold in Mississippi. I was listening to Doughnut Song as the sun rose that morning. Listening to the orchestra in the background, I finally got it. Pele had clicked with me. 

This album was Tori’s chance to really capitalize on her popularity and make a straightforward pop/rock album. But, in the vein of most of my favorite musicians, she put out a polarizing third album that cleared out most of the riff raff and let you know she was ready to take you on a journey.

The emotions surrounding the album, the metaphors and various interpretations, the psychosis… what happens within Pele is a woman recapturing her wounded fire. The bruises this album healed on my heart are endless. When I was going thru the thick of my awful teen years, this album really held my hand. I knew every intonation and inhalation, still do, but it was then when this album really became ingrained in me.

Like I said, I don’t listen much, but when I do, it’s always a reverent experience. The vocals, the daring compositions and arrangements, incredible fucking inventive lyrics… nothing will ever EVER top Pele for me. It is firmly forever my favorite album. Nothing has been as life-altering for me as this album. I can never forget it. 

Just had to express my Pele love on my music journal. It deserves a place here, if only to reflect the very large place it holds in my heart. 

-H.

So I’m painfully close to finishing Here Lies Death.  Like, maybe 20 pages.  I’m burning to finish it.  What does it mean if there’s no one part that’s suitable for an excerpt?  

Last week was cray-cray at Teh Werk.  But now it’s over.  I need to get back to my ‘painting after work’ routine.  For some reason though, I’m incapable of creating in two different mediums at the same time.  My brain just won’t let me do it.  If I’m writing, I can’t paint.  If I’m painting, I can’t take pictures…  But after this weekend, after I finish the first draft of the book, I want to make many new paintings for the rest of 2012.  

I desperately need to finish the ones I’ve started for Cammie Ward.  Then I want to finish the Out-of-Body series.  There are two more to go for that.  And you know, two months to write an entire book from nothing really isn’t a long time.  Writing a long-form piece kinda makes you feel like when you first realize you’re falling in love and you haven’t told the person yet.  It’s a vulnerable and fragile time, and you spend a lot of time thinking about it, and you’re not sure how long the feeling is gonna last, but you hang on to every second until the moment comes where you finally say ‘I love you’.  Completing the draft this weekend will be that moment for me.  And then, with the help of many red pens, I’ll get the chance to love it even more.  I just hope other people reading love the book and much as I loved writing it.

Many things are happening now.  Tomorrow will be a momentous day.  So will next Tuesday.  But I can’t say what they are in case they don’t work out.  But if it keeps goin’ like this, big changes are on the way.  I welcome them.  I spent a long time wishing them into existence.  Now they’re coming.  Yes!

Anyfuck, that’s about it.  New York life continues to roll on and absorb me, in a way that only New York can.  I’m in the thick of it, but I feel like I have more control on the level of grip.  I’m also in the best shape of my life.  I feel so healthy.  So happy to be alive.